kneel: the all purpose stance! (or, when in doubt.....kneel!)

Here I stand, on my knees. I am powerless to do otherwise. My own strength would land me lower than hell. But by His strength, on my knees, I can stand tall rejoicing in prayer. I will walk by His might or not at all. For without His help I can do naught but fall. Here I am strong, humbly bowed before my King, enjoying the warmth of His gaze. Proud, not in what I've done but in the beautiful work of the cross. The cross brought me armor, so much stronger than the rags my own self-righteous works had been creating my entire life. I can only cast away my rags like an infested sinful disease, and put on the glorious armor that does not need to be shined, sharpened, or repaired. Here I am strong, without shadow of my own. Only in the shadow of the cross can greatness be found. Here the battle is won against the world, the flesh and the Devil. An army’s true strength is found by the number of those who submit to God, get down on their knees, and pray. I will passionately fight the good fight, on my knees. I will aggressively run the race set before me, on my knees. I will press towards the high calling, on my knees. I will walk on the road not taken by many, the high and narrow road, on my knees. I will advance His kingdom, on my knees. Help me Lord, to stand on my knees, walk on my knees, dance on my knees, worship on my knees, fight on my knees and live on my knees!

My Rose

Yes, this is what I do when I am not interested in watching a movie during class! :-) I do not at all consider myself artistic, so when I make something that I like..... I REALLY like it and decide it needs to be photoshopped :-)

Time

Tick tick pocket watch

Ticking all day long

Ding dong alarm clock

Chiming out in song

Coo coo coo coo clock

Clucking on the hour

Bong bong city clock tower

Chiming out in power

Back and forth grandfather clock

Swinging through the day

Beep beep wrist watch

Time to go out and play

Time keeps passing by

Every single day

Be careful how you spend it

It never comes to stay

Ode to The Brave Tree

There stands a lonely tree

Bending, swaying in the strong breeze

For the mighty wind has naught to stop it

Save for the lonely tree

The great tree stands tall

In a field like unto the sea

Like a lone, sharp sentinel

There stands the lonely tree

Will our brave soldier stand true?

Will his boughs hold through the gale?

He must survive, he must live on

His legacy must prevail

Wait, a snap, a crack

A groan of hard wood creaking

As the storm offered one final bout

The noise of a thousand branches speaking

But then I realized the sound was laughter

The tree roaring for all to see

A mock, a dare in the face of the storm

To take this lonely old tree

“You see,” said our old friend

As the storm rendered its final battle cry

“I’ve seen your kind come and go,

But ‘tis only I who never die”

So as the storm retreated

As his enemy did flee

He lifted his head again to heaven

And there smiled our lonely tree

Tweenagedness

I was surprised at myself late this past Tuesday night (09-27-10). Twas the night before my birthday and all through the house not a creature was stirring….. except for me. I was restless. Usually I have a laid back response to birthdays and getting older. “Just another day in life,” was a phrase that echoed frequently through my subconscious. Often, when the topic of my age would come up or when I was explaining my attitude toward birthdays, I would laughingly refer back to the year I spent my birthday in Michigan with my now deceased grandma. My brother called to wish me a happy birthday and he asked me if I felt any older. To which I replied: ‘yes, about a whole day older than I felt yesterday.’ This is one of what I consider to be my wittiest lines (yes I remember them). Or maybe not witty per se, but an embodiment of a part of who I am – practical, comical (boarder line pathetic;-), no bones, different. My attitude toward age is indifferent both a good and bad are represented and people often don’t know if they should be celebrating. Its’ inevitability usually causes me to question why bother pointing it out. I’m a day to day person. However, on the eve of the day of transition from my teens to tweens, I found myself in a mood of retrospectiveness. I was strangely moved by the departure from being a teenager to being twenty. The significance of this birthday played more heavily on me than any other birthday had. I felt like I was about to enter a stage of my life that I was frightfully unprepared to handle. I suddenly realized that I had always thought of the twenties as finally being a grown up. The teens were a time to have fun and enjoy youth. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no intention of, or feel any obligation to give up any portion of my youthfulness. It’s just the way I saw twenties and was slightly afraid that I would expect that of myself. I was also thinking back on the memories (good and bad) of my teenage years – also not something I am prone to do. It was as if I was doing a mental inventory of experiences. I was seeing if they measured up to what I thought they should be. My thoughts soon turned to the many blessing I have and have had in the past ten years. I would not change a single experience I went through. They have made me who I am.

Now I feel like I’m in limbo between realities. I feel like I am at the top of the mountain ready but apprehensive of jumping off and testing my newly created hang glider. I am experiencing a sensation that I imagine a skydiver feels right before taking his first jump. That moment of truth, reality, trying to convince yourself that the parachute will save you and that it’ll be the coolest thing you ever did while at the same time scared to death, paralyzed with apprehension.

I guess leaving my teenage years was not something I was actually ready to do. I’m stuck between being a metaphoric teenager while actually being twenty. I guess you could call me a tweenager.

I can only say thanks to those of you have made me who I am, who have brought me to where I am, and who are continually making me better.

'Morning Light" (Confusion to Creativity)

I don't know. Not very metered, but real. Not the best wording but it's what I feel. Not very well focussed but a mixture of a lot of things. Thanks to those who brought me to the end. You've really helped. Disclaimer: I don't really drink my problems away, it's metaphorical.

Isolation, noise fading away,

Bitterness staring you in the face,

Stories fall away,

Sun behind the haze

No morning no light

Earth become night

No love and no hate

The absence of sight

Senses all dull

Behind the curtain of pain

Life has no meaning

Drink, drink myself insane

Wait! A ray of light,

Piercing the dark of night

Rolling back the clouds

A blazing storm of light

Shattering fear

Eliminating pain

Death has no victory

Grave has no gain

What I do and where I go

There shall I be and that shall I do

Freedom from death and access to life

No chains holding back, enjoying the morning dew

Chaos and confusion

Give way to creativity

Doubts and sorrows gone

Now life and liberty

Hello all. I was sitting in class a few days ago and I overheard some of my fellow students talking about a new ‘Christian’ t-shirt/bumper sticker that has recently hit the markets. It reads "Pray for Obama Psalm 109:8." While I think that Christians really do need to pray for our president (after all even if you don't like him, he will be leading our country for the next couple years), I think this statement is SICK! Let me explain why. Psalm 109:8 reads: "Let his days be few, And let another take his office." The next verse says "Let his children be fatherless, And his wife a widow." THIS is NOT what we need to pray for our president! Let me remind you what the Bible says about our authorities."Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to SPEAK EVIL of NO ONE" Titus 3. Wishing our president dead is disgusting! To be a Christian by definition means to imitate Christ: be little Christ’s. Did Christ ever once speak thus about political authorities? NO! What part about being a Christian WISHES someone dead?!?!?! Especially someone who might not be a Christian? Do you REALLY wish someone to spend eternity in hell? How could you? Christ came to die - give his entire life ending in torment beyond description - to SAVE people from hell!!! And now those very people he saved from hell want others to go there?! You know what this is? This is SICK! I don't think I have ever been so ANGRY in my life!!!! Let me tell those who do this something. I attend to a liberal arts school - emphasis on LIBERAL. I do not hide my Christianity. After I heard this, I didn't want ANYONE at my school thinking of me as a Christian! The way my fellow students were talking about [so called] Christians in light of this, was not pretty. Many words were used that I will not mention here. And you know what? If saying those kind of things is the measure of being a Christian, than I could not agree with my classmates more! That is not ANY type of Christianity that I want anything to do with and I abhor it! How on earth, if you understand what God in His infinite mercy saved YOU from, could you EVER wish that destiny on ANYONE else?! I'm gonna stretch a little and say that God sees two types of people in this world: sinners and saved people. It is true that some saved people are more beneficial than others and some sinners are worse than others, but when it comes down to it on judgment day the deciding factor will be whether or not you are saved. You know what this means, you and Obama were seen NO differently before you were saved. You were no better. Swallow your pride Christians. Christianity has NOTHING to do with you! It is ALL about God. We were saved because HE chose us, HE made a way for us, HE called us, and HE saved us! Means you're a wretched, filthy, abominable, and cursed sinner without God. Without God, you and Obama are in the same boat! Now don't get me wrong, I don't like Obama! I did not vote for him, I will not vote for him! I do not want him reelected. But I DO NOT want him to go to hell! And I would seriously question the salvation of anyone who did! If you have qualms with Obama, and I would think every true Christian who understands anything about the Bible and politics would, then PRAY FOR HIM! But NOT in a Psalm 109 context! For one reason, like I said earlier, whether or not you like him, you're stuck with him for the next couple years. So pray that God would change him - like He changed you. If you think about it, the only places that it is recorded that Jesus got really mad (and he got REALLY mad) were cleaning the Temple of 'religious' people and with the Pharisees. Well I am REALLY mad right now at the hypocritical Pharisees hiding in churches today who wish Obama to die!!!! Come on! Clean the Temple. If you are a Christian [literally "little Christ"] start acting like one. And STOP making it harder than it needs to be for students like myself in a secular school to try and establish the Kingdom here! Really, it's gonna be hard to reach those classmates now!